Abhijeet

Continuing with the series of introducing my friends one by one.....

So who’s the richest guy in the world?
Bill gates???...wrong.
Warren Buffett???...wrong.
Paul Allen???...wrong.
Shilpa Shetty???....ok which idiot came up with that one??? i asked for richest "guy" ...WRONG!!!

Then who???...well the answer is Mr. Abhineet Khanviulkar. You haven’t heard of him???....well that’s coz you’re an ignorant Orangutan....get yourself some decent general knowledge!!!

Mr Abhineet Khanviulkar (the name has been changed for obvious reasons) happens to be another member of my tarnished circle of friends. His weapon of choice….MONEY.

Abhineet was born with a silver spoon…ahem…make that a Platinum spoon. Being born into one of the richest families on Earth was just a stepping stone towards Abhineet’s quest for inexhaustible affluence.

Ever since he took over the reigns of his corporate empire, Hodek India has become the world’s largest company with a net worth of 2.1 trillion US dollars.

Last night when Abhineet was on the Jay Leno Show, he finally admitted that the only reason that drove him to be the richest person in the world, was coz back in his college days, when he was trying to set up his “corn empire”, a particular Amol Kane made fun of his management skills. Abhineet realized that the only way to shut Amol’s crap hole was to become the world’s numero uno rich boy.

In his pursuit of wealth, Abhineet took over 467 of the current fortune 500 companies. But his prized possession was a particular company called the “GE Power Systems”.
What was his special interest in this particular company you ask?....Hmmmm….well it so happens that Amol currently works for “GE Power Systems”…and as a result is an employee working for Mr. Khanviulkar.The hunter is now the hunted.
That could explain why Amol’s visa application for H-1 processing was denied and the reason why GE asked him to go work for their overseas project in Iraq for 2 yrs. Abhineet never forgives the people who mock him…and sending Amol to the “beheading country” was just his way of making a statement.

Only God can save those who make fun of Abhineet.


With great bank balances come great problems. Abhineet has a tough time keeping track of all his cars. Ask him about his “Yellow Zen” and he’ll have no answer. The poor fella can’t recall whether he sold it off or is it still there in some corner of his 56 acre garage. My sympathies are with him.

People have various hobbies ranging from collecting stamps to collecting antelopes. Abhineet loves to collect “commercial establishments”. This hobby surfaces from the depths of his enormous ego. Let me explain….

You happen to go window shopping with Abhineet….You like a particular Ferrari 360 Modena on display ….you remark how awesome a machine she is…..Abhineet informs you that he owns 14 of those Ferraris…two of every color they’re manufactured in…..you don’t believe Abhineet and ask him to show them to you when you visit his mansion…..Abhineet never really owned 14 of those cars…..he just likes to show off…..but now it’s going to land him in trouble….foot in mouth syndrome….Abhineet slips behind your back into the store and asks the owner to sell him 14 of those cars immediately….the owner thinks Abhineet is insane and has him thrown out of the store…Abhineet’s ego is hurt…he calls his accountant from his Thuraya satellite phone and informs him to get in touch with his lawyers and buy the store pronto…..the Ferrari store now belongs to him….but one problem….they have only 12 of those Ferrari’s he needs….the store manager calls up the main office….the main office informs the store manager that they are currently 37th on the waiting list and nothing can be done…..Abhineet threatens the main office clerk….the clerk laughs at him and asks Abhineet who the hell does he think he is…the owner of Ferrari???.....big mistake…..Abhineet completes the “take over” …..FIAT has a new owner.

Abhineet hates it when people mock him, but if an opportunity to mock others comes along, he'll pounce on it in a fraction of a millisecond. When it comes to remembering who slipped up on what, Abhineet has no adversary. Whether it is someone’s Poopsi for Pepsi or someone’s Kapool for Kapil…he’ll stock all of this “slip of tongue” garbage into his colossal database and bring it up when you least expect it….resulting in you being embarrassed to the core on a very public stage.

Abhineet loves soccer. However, he can't seem to make up his mind regards soccer club loyalty. One day he's a Liverpool fan..the next day he's an Arsenal supporter and the latest i believe, he's supporting Manchester United. Well, we at Manchester united have no issues since finally he's realised which is the top club in the world.

Abhineet is a huge fan of Rocky Balboa of Rocky - IV fame. He takes great pride in boxing with the women folk. No girl till date has been able to knockout our local hero, Rocky Khanviulkar….Actually when I think of it….he did loose to a particular Devika Diwanji…..she knocked the living daylights outta him.

Abhineet is getting married to my dearest friend Devika….I wish him all the best with this 'matrimonial take over'.

DISCLAIMER: Any resemblance whatsoever with any person living or dead is.....Actually, do i even need to have a disclaimer here....I mean come on....there's noway anybody could figure out I'm talking about Abhijeet Khanvilkar, right ???